Apparently white women whose names start with ‘L’ and who have podcasts known only to white people have a penchant for lying on Black men after their rejection, perceived or real, of them. Last year, white feminist shero and Little Critter body double Lena Dunham published an interview with her Garbage Pail Kid twin Amy Schumer in which Dunham told a story about how O’dell Beckham, Jr. was repulsed by her at the Met Gala. Now while in all fairness, I understand why Lena would deduce that any human being would find her repugnant, her assessment that O’dell looked at her and decided she was not the “shape of a woman by his standards” was completely baseless as she admitted he never said a word to her.
Well, Lena’s public dragging (Get into my take on it here.) was obviously not a sufficient cautionary tale for self-aggrandizing Becksters because last week, Leah McSweeney, some basic Becky whom I only learned of this week, went on her podcast and launched a guru-level basic Becky rant in which she accused SNL comedy Michael Che of being “so arrogant and so rude and disrespectful” when she texted with him after swiping his profile on a dating app. McSweeney accused Che of talking to her like she is a “stupid bitch” (I mean…) and calls him a “D-list celebrity” (when the irony is definitive…). And just for good measure, she throws in a little AAVE letting us know that Che “don’t know nothing” about her and that they have “mad friends in common,” probably to counteract her definitive display of Beckyism when she called Che a “fucking dork wearing Air Force Ones.”
Now brother Che must have been on his way to do some major holiday exchanges because he dropped all kinds receipts on that ass. Screenshots of text messages between the two show that it was in fact Becky With the Shedding Hair who was rude and disrespectful. She begins her descent into the Beckery with a little garden variety homophobia, telling Che how all of the guys on the app “look gay.” To prove she’s multi-talented in her Becky bigotry, she goes on to drop the casually racist gem that though all of NY is being gentrified, he can be assured that Hell’s Kitchen is the least gentrified of the gentrified. And to complete the trifecta, she pulls out the big guns, asking Che if he doesn’t like her because she’s white.
So Che swerves her politely a dozen times. Any self-respecting basic Becks would have just gotten the message. But no, apparently McSweeney is vying for the title of Queen of the Basic Becky Bitch Brigade. She sends a pic of what appears to be some travesty she whipped up in the kitchen, fishes for compliments by sending him a pic of herself which she says is a much better pic than her previous profile pic, and sends texts at a ratio of about 3-to-1. When Che finally tells her outright he’s not interested, she tries to save face telling him that she only gave him “the time of day” because a mutual friend said they he was a good dude. Get into some of the parchedness below.
Now if you assumed that she had reached max Beckyation with her pathetic texts and subsequent spin of the story on her podcast, you’re wrong. Ol’Becky With the Bad Memory spoke to Jezebel and doubled down on her fuckery, saying, “Yeah, it seems like the obvious but it wasn’t about the rejection at all. The way he went about it is crazy. You can say, ‘I’m not interested.’ Why are you even texting me back then? Why did you even give me your phone number? You told me to hit you up. I didn’t give you my phone number.”
Oh, Beckingston…Poor, delusional, basic Becky With the Unearned Privilege, contrary to popular misconception, you are not irresistible to Black men. In fact — and brace yourself for this — some Black men are actually not interested in you or any other white woman at all. Now perhaps Michael was open to suffering through a few romcoms with you and tolerating a few meals of chicken seasoned with three specks of black pepper with a mayo glaze, but your utter dehydration ruined that. Then you pulled the centuries old “I wanted Black dick but it didn’t want me” move and tried to turn a Black man being disinterested in you into a feminist issue.
I have neither the energy nor the patience to give any meaningful overview of the history of white women responding to a Black man’s rejection with damaging accusations. Even more, I’m not about to exploit the memories of innocent Black men murdered for suspicion and lies to make the point that white women are dangerous as fuck because of society’s insistence that white women are the standard of beauty and deserving of yet need to be shielded from the adoration and lust of every man. I’m sure y’all know the narrative of the big Black brute whose sole mission in life is the pursuit and defilement of the white female body. So I’ll spare y’all.
And I know it won’t, but let this be a lesson to all you niggas who covet Becky basicness: You’re always one rejection away from being fingered.
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