If you follow me, you know when it comes to politics, I’m an equal opportunity hater. I don’t fuck with none of the oligarchy, Democrat, Independent or Republican, Black, white or other, woman or man. I don’t trust their motives and know that they’re going to act in their own best interest over that of the common folks, so you won’t catch me stanning none of them.
But there are rare occasions when I see a Black politician who’s been in the game for decades is caught on camera letting these white folks know they ain’t the one. It may be a reporter who corners them asking about unpaid fines, another politician who tries to get slick at a hearing or a heckler who’s intent on showing their ass. In these moments, all that Blackness shines through when they gotta check a motherfucker.
Let’s review some examples, shall we?
Maxine Waters ain’t about that “wasting time” life
This one is the most infamous. At a hearing when Rep. Waters’ clear question was met not with a clear answer but with Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin offering unctuous praise of the long-time representative, Maxine was having none of that. “Reclaiming my time” became the negro catch phrase of 2018 after this video of the nearly 30-year House Rep continuing uttering the phrase anytime Mnuchin spoke without directly addressing her question. He was not about to run out her time talking that bullshit.
Alcee Hastings had time that day.
Listen, if you are a Black person who’s spent any significant amount of time around white people, you know they are good for demanding an apology when they feel they’ve been wronged. Well, Texas Rep Michael Burgess had to learn the hard way that everybody ain’t moved by white people’s hurt feelings.
At a hearing, Florida’s Alcee Hastings when addressing Burgess told him that he thinks Texas is a “crazy state” and wouldn’t live there for “all the tea in China.” Now despite the irony in someone from Florida calling anybody’s state a crazy state, Hastings stuck to his guns when Burgess demanded an apology. “You will wait until hell freezes over for anything of an apology,” Hastings replied. And on this day, there was not a fuck in sight.
George Forbes don’t play getting screamed on.
Listen, I have had some aggressive ass bill collectors call me. One time, I told a chick not to call my house anymore and hung up the phone. Well, she proceeded to call my house over and over asking me what I was gonna do about it. So I absolutely get how a motherfucker asking you about a bill when you’ve already told them you ain’t paying the shit can make you wanna give them a VIP ticket to the Festival of Hands.
George Forbes, Cleveland’s former President of the City Council, was having none of it when a reporter rolled up on him demanding he explain why he hand’t paid his water bill in over a year. Forbes told the reporter a few times that he didn’t have the money. Finally, Forbes walked away, but as is customary for negroes when we try to let shit go then realize we gotta remind a motherfucker we ain’t no bitch, Forbes returned to issue an ominous prophecy: “One of these days, you gon’ corner me and I’m gon’ kick your ass!”
Marion Barry had to let Becks know.
OK, scratch all that shit I said about not stanning for any Black politician. When it comes to DC’s mayor for life, the late great Marion Barry, I go the fuck up. Despite all the scandal surrounding his time in office, you’d be hard-pressed to find a Black person from DC who doesn’t have genuine love for this man.
And for as much as white people preach about assimilation and “when in Rome…,” they sure did love bringing their asses to our city and disrespecting the man we loved. One such time, a Fox News reporter rolled up on Marion Barry about having four unpaid parking tickets totaling $600. Barry, who probably did owe and ignore the tickets, told her he wanted her to go find something else to do, following up with “You just been here since April. You don’t know a damn thing about Washington, DC.”
Berlin Boyd had to remind ’em how Memphis go.
Let me tell y’all one thing: I love me some Memphis. The food is delicious, you can’t throw a stone without seeing a Black person and there’s so much rich Black history there. But one thing I’ve learned about them Memphis negroes is that they really don’t give a fuck.
Now Council Chairman Berlin Boyd tried to keep it professional when a heckler rolled up to a council meeting talking reckless. He asked the heckler to respect the meeting and not use profanity. When the heckler refused and kept talking greasy, calling Boyd a name, he reached in his bag of classic negro insults and replied, “Just like your mama!”
Now what have we learned today? Black people can at any time, despite our credentials, positions and visibility, slip back into our native state of Negrodom and not give a single fuck!