Happy St. Patrick’s Day: Your Irish Ancestors Were Never Slaves

The only thing white folks love more than holidays when they can get wasted is intruding on any discussion of chattel slavery with their myth that the Irish were slaves and were treated worse than “the Blacks.” I get so tired of Becky and Brody trying to convince Black people that their alleged Irish ancestors were at the bottom rung on the ladder of oppression. And if I hear one more racist white person say, “But you don’t hear the Irish complaining,”…

So in honor of St. Patty’s Day, I’m gonna gift Chad, Liz and Megan¬†with the truth they¬†refuse to swallow: Your fucking Irish ancestors were never slaves in America.¬†Were they second class citizens? Certainly. Were they indentured servants? Absolutely. Were they subject to discrimination and mistreatment? Yeppers. Were they chattel slaves? Nah. Were they hanged and raped with routine frequency and impunity just for being Irish? Fuck no!

Now Irish researcher and scholar, Liam Hogan, spent years researching the history of the Irish in the Americas¬†to debunk the myth of Irish slavery. He compiled and summarized his research into a five-part series. Think of it as “Dismantling Internet Propaganda About Irish Slavery for Racist Dummies.” Since Mr. Hogan was so kind as to grant anyone interested access to a truncated history of the Irish plight in these here United States and the Caribbean,¬†which once again, WAS NOT SLAVERY, I won’t waste my very valuable time summarizing his summary for y’all.¬†I can take the white supremacist horse to the well of knowledge, but I can’t make¬†it¬†drink. Y’all ain’t gonna read nothing with scholarly sources anyway.


What I am going to do is ask a question: Why the fuck do y’all wanna be oppressed so badly? Is it because if you can convince¬†yourselves that your people started with the same, or rather much worse, systemic obstacles¬†Black people have been forced to hurdle for centuries then you can claim that your assimilation into whiteness and consequent collective climb in social class is evidence of the superiority y’all so desperately want the world to buy? Or perhaps because your hate is so inexplicably all-consuming that you need to justify it by believing¬†that Black people couldn’t have been enslaved, tortured, raped, exploited and lynched for centuries, giving legitimacy to our¬†unrelenting fight for justice and reparations?

Moreover, I really want to know how anybody could have been treated worse than people branded with irons? What’s worse than a hot box or walking past the hanging body of a loved one rotting in August heat? Do tell what sting was as sharp as that of 50 lashes from a whip? I need details on this worse treatment.

Anyway, why are we dwelling on the past? If what happened centuries ago has no bearing on the present, then why would it matter even if this mythical Irish slavery actually happened? In fact, why the fuck are y’all celebrating the life of a man who died more 1,650 years ago? Do you think St. Patrick would want his descendants reveling in what happen more than millennium and a half ago? I THINK THE FUCK NOT!

Besides,¬†Mansa Musa, Hannibal and Nefertiti had it way worse than St. Patrick, but you don’t see Black people dying everything and getting drunk to commemorate them, do you? No, you don’t. And do you know why? Because most people didn’t even know they existed. Get over it like we did.

So today, as you sip your green beer and celebrate your heritage, make sure that celebration includes honesty and the acceptance that your ancestors were not slaves, that

you are racist as fuck, and that you learn history from internet memes.




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